Bonds

 You know you are in for an interesting pub experience when upon entering the premises the first words you hear (by a woman ushering her mate out of the door) are ‘Leave it, she’s not worth it’ !! 

I surveyed the scene, tables were littered with discarded shot glasses, loud conversations were taking place that were punctuated with that many swear words it was like a cross between an episode of The Osbornes and the kitchen when chef Ramsay is dealing with an incompetent member of staff.

 Unexpectedly I was then forced to move out of the way as two women had to help their inebriated friend down a small flight of stairs as she was unable to walk. Meanwhile up the stairs a young couple were engaging in a very animated conversation. I’m no relationship expert but I sensed all wasn’t well, the young lady had seemingly been crying as her mascara had run that badly down her face that she resembled Alice Cooper!!

I’m sure similar scenes are witnessed up and down the country late on Friday and Saturday nights however this was Bonds in Tamworth town centre at 5.45pm on a dark, wet Monday night in late February!!

To make the sorry situation marginally worse I was on my way back home following a rare trip to the office so I was looking resplendent in shirt, tie and slacks, the locals must’ve thought I was a member of CID. I hurriedly ordered a pint of the first beer I saw (from memory I think it was San Miguel) and found a seat in a quiet corner. 

I’m not sure if Tamworth has a venue that is classed as a student pub but Bonds seems to attract large numbers of scholars from the nearby college. Thankfully I wasn’t asked by any of the students to describe the item located near to where I was sat…

….well, back in the day not every house had a telephone so people used to go to one of these to make calls, when the pips started you had to insert a two pence coin in the slot !!

I was sat near two elderly Irishmen who were reminiscing about life back in the Emerald Isle, bizarrely they weren’t knocking back pints of the black stuff but instead they were drinking bottles of Polish beer. A quick look at the reviews of Bonds on Trip Advisor may solve the mystery as to why, one reviewer said the following…’Called in during the daytime, dirty glasses, dirty seats, just dirty’. Maybe a trip to Bonds inspired Christina Aguilera to spell her big hit Dirrty with a double r such was a horror at the lack of hygiene at the establishment!! 

The walls are adorned with photographs of proper musical stars though I can’t help thinking that it maybe wasted on the students of the nearby college, I’m sure they probably think this is Harry Styles..

Unsurprisingly my night was soon rudely interrupted as one girl excitedly informed her mate ‘Karaoke starts at 9 o’clock, let’s get on the JD’ !!

As they used to say in the News of the World…I made my excuses and left !!