The Jolly Sailor bar

 

The Jolly Sailor Bar is Tamworth’s newest pub, I would describe its location to my discerning older readers as being a short stroll from Tamworth’s magnificent Norman castle, however my younger followers should just head to the back of the queue from Spudman and it’s somewhere round there…

Given the fact that Tamworth is about as far away from the sea in England as you can get, the name is a peculiar choice, I can only imagine it is a tribute to someone from the town that won Bully’s star prize of a speedboat on Bullseye in the early 1980’s!! 

The pub is twinned withThe White Lion however you’re more likely to get drag racing rather than drag acts as sport is very much the main focus with numerous large tv screens situated throughout the establishment…

I’m not sure whether the consumer rights show Watchdog still exists, if so then I may pen a letter to alert them of a potential mis-selling  offence, despite the sign in the window informing me otherwise…

….the only draught beer available was of the keg rather than the cask variety. I need to mention in my note (signed Enraged from Tamworth) that I’d made a pointless journey, I’d been hugely inconvenienced, my mental health has been negatively impacted etc etc. Who knows, the pub may grant me free entry into one of the nights of quality entertainment they lay on for their punters…

…If I don’t get a satisfactory response I’ll write to my local MP, is it still Pincher the pincher I wonder?!! 

The pub isn’t too bad…

I was pleasantly surprised as my expectation levels were particularly low given I saw a post on the pub’s social media site featuring celebrating football fans in there in which someone commented ‘You only went to watch the villa lol UTV.’ I knew it wasn’t a place I was going to in order to make friends and influence people. 

I ordered a pint of Madri and rather than watch Cardiff v Ipswich I did a bit of people watching. First up was a couple of blokes the one of which was a bit of a character and seemingly Tamworth’s answer to Anton Du Bec as he pointed out the geographical locations of some of his fleet footed moments in The Jolly Sailor, ‘I’ve boogied over here and boogied over there and boogied round there’ he said with immense pride, so much so had I got one I’d have shown my 8 paddle, thinking about it though maybe it wouldn’t have been a good idea, he’d have undoubtedly told me to Foxtrot Oscar !! 

A mixed group walked in and maybe due to them being lured in with false advertising (don’t worry Pincher is on the case) they begrudgingly all opted for the same bottled beer, there were more Desparados than an Eagles tour set list. 

I was not made aware of any mandatory dress code for us young blokes (steady!!) however it became apparent very quickly that grey joggers, hoddies and skin fades is what is required to make a sailor jolly in the establishment. My sports casual Alan Partridge style outfit was seemingly a fashion faux pas of epic proportions. 

Two lads wearing the compulsory gear waltzed in (I think Du Bec is having an influence on me) and sat themselves at the bar. A fruit flavoured Kopparberg was the disappointingly predictable order for them both and they sat there conversing in a language which I believe is called English, at the end of every other sentence grey joggers one asked grey joggers two ‘Do ya get me fam’?!! How I laughed when grey joggers one’s mate arrived only to be greeted with a fist pump and the salutation ‘What ya sayin’ bro’?!! Firstly the new arrival hadn’t spoken and secondly I do not believe they were related !! 

I was distracted momentarily by firstly Cardiff scoring a winner in the 100th minute cue scenes, limbs etc in the home end and secondly information shown on the pubs screens regarding promotions, upcoming events etc. Three shots for £6 seemed like a great offer, next time I go to St Andrews I’m gonna arrive clutching a fiver and a pound coin in the hope that the American owners are replicating a similar offer to the first team that requires fan buy in !! 

Flippin’ ‘eck Tucker I need to put this one I my diary…

…though portly Ro-land may be disappointed to discover that whilst there is a choice of food in The Jolly Sailor the choice is whether you want a cheese and onion cob or a ham and tomato cob !! 

Right, where were we, oh yeah a bloke and his wife/girlfriend/mistress sat themselves behind me and he was covered in tattoos most of which were inspirational messages, he was about 6 foot 2 and built like the proverbial brick outhouse so I felt it unwise to stare closely to confirm and subsequently point out to him any grammatical inaccuracies or spelling mistakes in his inkings!! 

My pass out ‘Do you want to come to Home Bargains with me and Mum or go for a pint’? was a limited one so I saw off the remains of my pint and made my way out suitably impressed by the place, despite no ale, UTV and the grey joggers dress policy. I will return.