Old Stone Cross

 

Well, where do I start with The Old Stone Cross?!! There are some pubs in which patrons play up and I’d put this pub in that category. Don’t get me wrong, despite the fact there is always a couple of bouncers/door supervisors/doormen/door persons (oh, isn’t life difficult these days?!!) on duty during busier times, I’ve never witnessed any fisticuffs, however if you do visit your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to avoid eye contact with the locals. This isn’t because you are in physical danger, more because some nutcase (am I allowed to say that?!!) wants to be your mate, whether you like it or not !! To illustrate my point all pub guides describe The Old Stone Cross as ‘lively’ !! 

The pub, reputed to be the oldest in Tamworth and visited it is claimed by Dick Turpin, is right in the centre of the town next to what used to be the registry office. Before the registry office closed the pub used to offer a ‘Honeymoon Room’ for the princely sum of £45 a night which included breakfast. The happy couple could be wed and the marriage consummated in plenty of time to make last orders for less than fifty quid !! An absolute bargain. Maybe rather than being a pub blogger I could be a wedding planner !! 

Despite its reputation for being lively the thing the pub is most famous for is a fabulous story if true, the picture (unsurprisingly the glass in the frame is smashed) reveals all..

…yes indeed, the story goes that Mick Jagger got thrown out and barred from the pub for an act of public urination. The exact details of the Jumping Jack Slash incident appear to differ, text next to the photo in the pub states it was up the side of the building but I’ve also read that it was in a back room or it was against the side of the bar !! The ban was lifted a few years back (they must have had sympathy for his devilish behaviour) and they used to sell Jagger Bombs in his honour !!

I called in a few weeks back and as I gingerly stepped inside I was greeted by a man sat by the door stroking a white dog in his lap, I was half expecting him to say ‘Ah, Mr Bond, we’ve been expecting you’ !!

Like a lot of these type of places there’s no cask ale and I was too scared to ask to confirm this as a fact so rather than drink what 90% of the pub was drinking (Carling obviously) I went European with my selection and took my beer in the back room out of trouble..

It wasn’t long before the first incident, two blokes were minding their own business playing the fruit machine when a woman came up behind of them and smacked his backside with such force that the whole pub grimaced, I’m sure the resulting thwack could be heard as far away as Polesworth !! He barely flinched and commented ‘I’ll tell your intended’ I am concluding therefore that the young lady in question is shortly pledging her troth to another. I’m no betting man but I’m willing to stake a couple of quid on the fact that she has had the word obey omitted from the traditional vows !!

The music was varied to say the least, I can only imagine it was something like a Spotify play list possibly entitled ‘sh*t sandwich’ as two good songs were separated by a bad one. There aren’t many places where Start by The Jam and Hush by Deep Purple have Good Feeling by Flo Rida* as an accompaniment. 

* I will confess I had to Google it when it was being played but I wanted to impress this blogs younger readers !!

Somewhat unsurprisingly one of the locals came over to me whilst on his way out for a cigarette. To this day I have not got a clue what he was saying as his conversation was as slurred as that of Shane McGowan on a bender but I can confirm the last two words were old and fart !! I hope he wasn’t talking about me !! 

As is often the case in pubs of this ilk the tv’s were showing horse racing, I certainly didn’t feel brave enough to ask for them to put the test match on, a quick check of my phone confirmed that it probably wasn’t a bad thing, both England openers were back in the pavilion with less than 30 on the board. 

Talking of being brave you will note my lack of photographs from this establishment. However I took a quick snap on the way out and legged it..

Despite all I’ve said I quite like this pub, okay it’s probably another place you probably wouldn’t take your significant other to on a ‘date night’ but if you are doing a Tamworth pub crawl (naturally following all responsible drinking protocols) then don’t miss the pub out, it’s likely to result in a story or two. After all Wild Horses couldn’t drag Mick Jagger away from The Old Stone Cross !!