The King’s Ditch

Okay let’s go back to basics the definition of a micro pub is as follows, ‘a small free house which listens to its customers, mainly serves cask ales, promotes conversation, shuns all form of electronic entertainment and dabbles in traditional pub snacks’. So I guess based on this The King’s Ditch ticks all the micro pub boxes. However my better half, who is certainly not averse to trying different types of pubs, loathes this place, so much so in fact that she, somewhat harshly in my view, refers to it as The King’s Sh*t and refuses to go in!! 

The pub, which opened in late 2014, is based in what used to be a former bicycle shop. I think one of the main issues for my good lady is the lack of atmosphere in the place which isn’t helped by the layout of the seating…

….customers tend to occupy the seats against the wall so it does have the feel of a doctor’s surgery, so much so that at times I’m half expecting an announcement from the receptionist informing me that my haemorrhoid cream is ready !!

As is often the case in these type of establishments space is a major factor because of this there is no actual bar to lean up against….

…instead customers stand in no man’s land while the bar man/woman/non binary individual takes their order from the ever changing selection on the boards. It is then when it gets a bit weird for me, as my beer is being poured from the casks in the back room I am able to view this on the screen displayed prominently on the wall…

…does this count as ‘electronic entertainment’ thus contravening the micro pub definition?!! I really don’t get the point of this, maybe they are hoping for a hilarious tumble so the resulting video footage can be sent to Harry Hill and they can bag a cash windfall. Actually, thinking about it, this facility could sort out any disputes with customers over an incorrect order. The member of staff could simply draw a square box using the index fingers of both hands and it could get referred to VAR !! 

The quality of the beer in The King’s Ditch can not be faulted, they tend to have a handful of good quality local ales on at all times but their specialty is their selection of ciders there is more than enough to even keep The Wurzels happy (one for the older readers) as there is usually a selection of around 16 !! I The pub regularly wins cider pub of the year as well as many other accolades with the resulting certificates proudly displayed on the pub’s wall, in fact they’ve won many honours for their cider it’s almost on par with villa’s in their glory years of the 1880’s !! I dare ya to go in and ask for a pint of mixed berry flavoured Strongbow !!

In keeping with the micro pub definition conversation is encouraged in this place which is fair enough but (again this is something that discourages my other half from visiting) it does seem to attract it’s fair share of the stereotypical bearded weirdos from CAMRA so be warned you could be sat on your own minding your own business when the bloke on the next table starts telling you that you should’ve been here last night cos the Hairy Helmet tasted really citrusy!! 

Lack of atmosphere does mean that it is a bit like a library if there’s hardly anyone in. There was just one other customer during my last visit and when he left (leaving just me and the barman) it was that quiet I could literally hear the whirring of the pub’s fridges. The atmosphere was as awkward as it is with an incompatible couple on First Dates…..what do you mean you’ve never watched it?!! I will admit at one point I was quite taken aback as I thought I heard a sneaky squeak of flatulance from the barman however I soon realised that I was mistaken and it was actually the scraping of a chair upstairs!! 

So all told Tamworth’s only current micro pub (there is also a micro brewery) is a good one but maybe it just needs to take itself a little less seriously.