Three Tuns Inn, Fazeley

 Well this was a bit of a surprise, my significant other and I were on a canal side walk from Amington to Hopwas and during our return we heard the unmistakable sound of The Jam’s classic Town Called Malice being played acoustically from a packed beer garden at The Three Tuns Inn at Fazeley. It seemed too good an opportunity to miss…

I will admit though when I opened the pub door the sight that greeted me was nearly enough for me to turn round and walk out. Now, I asked the question in my Sheriff of Tamworth write up what age is too old to go night clubbing and a similar question is what age is it considered just plain wrong for a man to wear a replica football shirt? Well, sat by the door there was a middle aged bloke (definitely old enough to know better) on a non match day not only wearing a replica villa (didn’t you just know that was coming?!! ) shirt, to further add to his heinous crime he was also decked out in a villa tracksuit top. Oh, come on !!

He was watching the Newcastle v Leicester game hoping for a Leicester win otherwise Newcastle would leapfrog villa in the table, well that frog well and truly leaped (as did I) the 95th minute when the Toon grabbed a very late winner. All of a sudden I fell in love with this pub for some reason. 

I haven’t been in this pub for several years ever since my better half (somewhat fortuitously I hasten to add, he says trying to defend his wounded male pride) beat me at darts. It was never much to write home about and seemed to change owners like that bloke changed his villa shirts however the current owners have really smartened their place up.

My good lady said that the place had been ‘yuppified’ now I don’t know if such a word exists (a quick Google search confirms that indeed it does) but she is spot on, the clientele (with one notable exception) definitely seemed a lot more upmarket than they were during my darts disaster. 

The image change may have something to do with the Tolson’s Mill development a stone’s throw away from the pub. 59 luxury apartments are being built in the shell of what was a former textile mill..

…so if the sort of people that live in these type of developments can tear themselves away from Netflix and their Peloton for long enough they’ll find a warm welcome at The Three Tuns. Naturally the pub’s gin menu is now very extensive in readiness and even the forthcoming events appear to be accommodating a new crowd, I mean who wants to go to a House and Dance Music Day Festival? Not the author of this blog that’s for sure, I’m more David Coverdale than David Guetta !!

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, Newcastle had just scored, villa had dropped to 15th, I’d spilt some of my impressive pint of HPA watching the goal go in and we moved outside to the beer garden. On route we passed a mobile catering van for those who like their chicken jerked..

…yes, not only was there live entertainment the pub had put on Caribbean food. Now I’m more partial to chicken bhuna and pilla rice if I’m honest but if you prefer your chicken with rice and peas then you may want to kiss your teeth at this point as you missed out. 

Alarmingly in all the mayhem the singers set list had taken to turn for the worst, we’d gone from hearing about Sunday’s roast beef being dashed against the Co-op to listening to the heartfelt message that your heart’s been aching but you’re too shy to say it. Yep the switch from The Jam to 80’s crooner Rick Astley wasn’t a welcome one but just like Newcastle he pulled it out the bag late on with numbers from Oasis, The Beatles and The Smiths. 

The beer garden is in a brilliant location it is on the junction of the Coventry and Birmingham and Fazeley canal so if you are that way inclined you can enjoy sitting in the beer garden and excitedly waving to passers by on their boats…oh is it just me that does that?!!

The pub’s beer garden is a haven for dog walkers, just along from us was a Great Dane that was about the size of a small pony…

…the pooh bags must be the size of dustbin liners !!

We got talking to a lovely couple who were looking after a Weimaraner and, although in keeping with what is now the pub’s target market, she was frightfully well spoken I misheard the dog’s name, I wasn’t sure if it was a popular soft drink, one of the worst Birmingham City managers in recent years, a song by The Kinks or a low budget brand of football boots from the 1970’s. It transpired that her name was in fact Nola. Change the first letter and you’ll get the other four if you’re in to Wordle and have grown tired of Dad jokes and comments about grown men in football shirts !!

The long walk from Hopwas, a pint of HPA and my advancing years meant that it wasn’t long before I had to visit the pub’s facilities. Somewhat embarrassingly I had to do the walk of shame to the Gents after failing with my first attempt ‘No, not that door duck, that’s the Ladies’ isn’t necessarily the phrase that you want to hear !!

I would warn you fellas that the sink is very near to the urinal so it can get a bit awkward if there’s more than one person using said facility, naturally this was the case for me and I had to do a rather awkward Gentleman’s Excuse Me as I went to wash my hands.

Sadly we only had time for a quick pint as we made our way to our next pit stop at The Gate in Amington but we left singing the praises of this place and will definitely be returning soon.